Inside the Minds of Middle Eastern Women
As a woman living in Egypt, my anger at the social ideas and the patriarchy is one that never quiets down. Every single day, I feel oppressed in some way; I feel degraded and I feel unworthy, just like the rest of Egypt’s female population.
There’s a limit, set by society, to what I’m allowed to achieve. There are boundaries set by the same society deciding my thoughts, my actions, my traumas and policing them. I’m merely a puppet to the patriarchy. Since the second I was born a girl, my future was already decided for me: a bride in her kosha in the arms of her husband. The husband, who when found, will make me whole as I, single, am not enough in anyone’s eyes. The hours and effort I put into my academia are viewed as things in vain for society just presumed that after I give birth, I’ll retire to be the malika of my own home.
If I as much as object to any of these forced suggestions that will shape my life, I’m frowned upon as now I’m an independent woman—an independent woman who threatens the worshiped system of misogynistic patriarchy. We’re in a prison of no walls, fences, borders or bars; it’s a prison of mind that had set rules to what we should amount to be, rules that have been passed down…generation to generation. In the simplest of ways, we are being oppressed and while being told to keep it shut. That we are being irrational, that we are being angry, that we are being unreasonable and rude. We’re all of these until proven otherwise.
Men occupy a higher level than we do; they’re not aware of our horrors — actually, they’re the creators of them. Men have each others’ backs in a way that we hope to do one day. When a woman starts talking about a system which kills us slowly until our natural deaths (or our femicide), all men compete to say ‘not all men’, further fueling our suffering. What is the reason they do this for? Is it because they’re protecting their male privileges or is it because they really think this is the way to do it? Is it a problem of ideas, ignorance, selfishness, privileges or all of the above? Should we educate, yell or fight?
The thought of actually fighting for my own freedom when it should be completely free is demeaning. Having to yell, fight and cry to live like men in the MENA region is, in itself, a breaking reality. We’re born inferior, and we had no choice in picking our genders. Nonetheless, we’re reprimanded all our lives for having 2 X chromosomes. It got to the point that we look down on ourselves, that we underestimate our capabilities and brains!
The ignorance goes a step forward when they try to justify their misogyny, interpreting religious texts to what would suit their privileges. What God would actively oppress His own creations? This is their way to our silence for refutation of religious texts is a taboo. To every women reading this, educate yourself and know your rights. No one is entitled to your body, mind or soul. You’re yours and only yours. The latest #MeToo movement that’s been flaring for the past couple of months in Egypt is our chance to be heard and rattle change into society.
We’ve been silent for centuries, enough of that. Your ambitions, dreams and words are valid; you’re more than hormones; you are capable; you’re whole in presence or absence of a husband and kids and your body is not a sin. You’re not what society deems you to be, you’re much, much more. I’m sorry that you have to keep quiet to avoid the laughter; try to raise your voice when possible.
The adjectives they use to police us (bossy, loud, angry) are used out of fear; fear of your independence and fear that you would snatch away their undeserved privileges. Don’t accept things that you don’t want to accept, and if this makes you “uptight”, then let it be. The women reading this, please recognise your internal misogyny that was planted by the patriarchy. We are raised to think that other women are out to get us and that we’re filled with jealousy to the brim. We should be there for each other; we should support one another and stand up for each other.
Why is our first thought when a woman is talking about her achievements is that she’s showing off and bragging but when a man does it’s just normal? The double standards are striving and thriving for we practice them, and it’s high time for change. Enough with I’m not like other girls, change starts from within us.
